my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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