i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
