i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
