My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
