Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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