This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
