she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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