dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
