laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize