it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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