Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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