i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
