I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
