so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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