please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
