Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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