That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
