The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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