Where did you get a picture of my penis
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
