member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
