Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
