I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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