I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
