Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
