so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Randomize
