drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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