It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
