maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
