Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm both gender and math confused
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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