I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
