3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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