why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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