I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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