like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
