i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
