so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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