Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
