Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
