I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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