I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Come on in and take your pants off
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