Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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