you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
