I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
