I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
