i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
