if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
