wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
