I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
