Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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