it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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