Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
